"Phoo. I'm exhausted. ... So what're you doing?"
"Well I'm waiting for the guy to give me eleven more poison apples so I can kill eleven times as many people. See, with one poison apple you can only kill one person at once. And I'm in the assassin's guild, so-"
"...so you're supposed to kill people. Yeah."
"Yeah, and if i have more apples, I can kill more people."
"..."
"..."
"Actually..."
"Huh?"
"...that's a good question. How would you poison an apple?"
"..."
"I don't mean in your game. I mean - in real life. That's just not..."
"..."
"I guess you'd have to paint it."
"But then - hang on, I've gotta get this... -yeah. But then it washes off."
"I mean, you know how they wax apples for display. You could get some kind of poison in the wax."
"...I guess... Maybe you could inject it?"
"Nah. Then you'd have a hole left. Also, apple fruit - you ever looked at how it grows? It's not porous, the poison would be localized. So if they didn't eat the whole thing-"
"...yeah."
"..."
"..."
"... sorry, I'm actually really, really paying attention to you, I just-"
"No, I know."
"-I can multitask really well, so it looks like I'm just playing but-"
"I know, I know, you're listening."
"No, I mean - this game is so easy, it should not be this easy."
"..."
"... so yeah. Poisoned fruit. I guess apples'd be hard. What about oranges? Nobody ever poisons oranges."
"I know! And oranges you've already got a bumpy rind, kind of holey-"
"-so nobody notices if it's injected with anything."
"Exactly. And the fruit is pulp, so the poison could squish between them..."
"-yeah."
"You know what? I am never eating food around you two ever again."
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Nice, it sounds like a really quirky comment. I like how it unfolds; it didn't immediately click that the two speakers were talking about a game when I was first reading, but that just made it more fun to me. These kind of random conversations are great, the only thing that kind of threw me off was the very last line. Is there a third person in the room that just entered the dialogue? It could be, but I really wasn't sure.
ReplyDeleteI could see this being a phone conversation which would make it a little more awkward with all the pauses, but more amusing to picture for the reader. Is there any way to get a better sense of where these two (as least two) people are?